Our friends : the pets
We heard all or asked ourself to a person who had just had a small animal her name and her sex, because the knowledge of both is dependent and quasi "vital for us". When the small animal does not have yet a name at the end of three or four days the owner and the entourage cannot hide a certain embarrassment. "It would nevertheless be necessary well to find a name to him, it cannot remain thus". This expression is fundamental and this is why I chose to take the example of an animal, contrary to a child, a priori no bringing together not being possible without shocking the spirits. In the same way when the animal is called Sultan and that it is about a bitch, the initial reaction is obviously the surprise. Or even Coconut for a parrot, Toby for a dog, one hardly imagines a cat to be called Rex.
Felix for a cat, Caroline for a tortoise, are names borrowed from the human first names. The mockery is played then around: "you hold are called like my dog!". Expression déstructurante for which hears and to which it is addressed. The child wonders why the parents affublé it of a name of dog... To insult somebody amounts uttering to him a series of "names of birds". The parents however know well the assimilation that such a first name could generate. Coluche said "the couples which beat their dog, it is because it would be said that they cannot have children"! Let us look at certain adults who will compare their small animal to an imaginary child, the small pet with his mémère, with which one buys slippers, a small coat for the winter so that the good doggie does not take cold. It is equipped, one caps it, one buys jewels to him. In short one tries to humanize this animal of to realize that the situation is ridiculous. It is a sign of distress obviously in this type of behavior which inspires more with pity than with the mockery, one nonsmell in what the life brings to us, a projection of an ideal on the animal kingdom. One does not hear: "at least my dog it is faithful for me, him will not disappoint me". Today one ensures his dog, it has his own social security, his mutual insurance company, in the United States there are even life insurances on the animals what makes smile the entourage and rager the descent. One can even bequeath his fortune under certain conditions to an animal. These operating modes meet more easily at the old people, insulated or not besides, which would not be enough to translate an expression of loneliness thus or then paradoxically a loneliness with two.
Woman knows her "baby blues" a few times after the birth but one did not study enough and to try to explain the period traumatisante passage of his child towards the adulthood. To 18-20 years, the child who passes his vat for example, forwards itself to the academic world or the professional life. The parents sees day after day has it reality of their life to be profiled. Their mission, that to procreate, ensure their descent touch at his end. The cycle of the life will continue, but it is to their child become adult that role falls now. Many conflicts between parents and children are born at this time there. The relative does not find any more a smell with his life, by seeing his child leaving, whom it will make and become during the every years which remains to him to be lived.
Little bracket besides, how much men or women separate towards forty for remarier. Today more and more of family are recomposed, parents divorced and remariés a child or two of a score of years and a little brother or sister of 2 or 3 years. To the forty year old man that goes even further, a remariage with a younger woman twenty years. A regression, a way of reassuring itself, all to start again to convince itself which one is used still for something. The life very often takes direction in this unconscious dynamics of procreation, of reproduction. It is true that the menopause at the woman proceeds towards the 50-55 years, the man on the other hand undergoes the male menopause which starts much earlier. Indeed the sexual capacities of the man decreases at the end of his growth, at the moment when the skeleton ages, that is to say towards the 25 years age approximately. At 40 years it becomes aware that that "does not go" more as well as front, its capacities to renew the act in love is some prolonged in time.
The adult cannot admit that it is time "to leave the place". It is often in the form of aggressiveness and of regressive behavior towards the child that that appears. One had granted his exits to him, one withdraws to him. One asks him to fold or one threatens it of "the foutre to the door", attitude paradoxical because it is indeed the reverse. It would be enough that the child includes/understands this situation, plugged which it by all that awaits it, is at this time empêtré in his own fears of the future. It would be enough that child communicates with its parents, that he says to him with which point he likes them, at which point they hope in his eyes... to thank them for what they did for him and their statement that though it arrives it will remain always the small girl or the little boy of his parents.
It appears well too simple but the experiment me was given by it on several occasions. The young adult does not see himself "making this gift" with his parents so much the situation is in crisis, so much this impression of not-communication perdure and develops. It is true that the direction first of the life disappears at this time there but with the difference of the animals we have other opportunities. In the animal kingdom, the butterfly dies after having reproduced, certain insects remain hidden years in the ground to become ripe, when they leave finally to the sun, they have only time to ensure the perpetuation of the species and in fallen the night die. Thousands of species function of the kind. Others reproduce until their death. The life of the animal stops when the cycle of the reproduction was completed. At the woman it ceases being able to procreate with the menopause whereas there remain to him 30 to 40 years in front of her of life. Baby blues, depresses the 40 years, traumatism at 50 years, the direction of the existence is unceasingly called in question.