Sick first names
The chapter which follows makes it possible to better measure the incidence and the reality of the traumatism at the time of the choice of the first name. It is about only one example but which makes it possible to the reader to also reflect him on similar cases of lived sound if such is or were the family step near.
The case of parents who had dealt with small girl, approximately 25 years ago, which had cancer. They had been caught of affection for this child and what could be more normal, the day when they had a girl of the prénommer identically. With the birth, this one had a weight relatively relatively low, never ate enough for the parents and worried about his paleness. This girl started to hate her first name as of the four years age. She would have preferred Anastasia. She enjoyed to tell with her entourage that it was its true first name. These parents communicated with their daughter and a day explained this choice to him. She does not exist for her but is the substitute of another certainly today deceased. She wanted in her phase oedipienne to change some, for another, more "fairy tale", the famous princess who finds her charming prince, Marie and repopulates the kingdom, there is no normally cancer in the tales and of small girl who dies (except "the small girl with the matches" but which is a case well with share). Later, this girl become woman is now hypochondriac after a long phase of alternation compulsive eater and anorexic. She became the different one in a certain direction while not wanting especially to resemble to him and live what she lived. She is pulled about by the anguish to have a cancer, to die of disease. She associates her first name a disease.
What does which this first name? Christine, who comes from Christ, that which suffered on the cross, died after long and slow anguish. Do not believe that the fact of prénommer your Christine child will lead it to carry out a life where death is omnipresent. But in this case does from which come the traumatism? At the beginning there is a little child who suffers from a cancer, she prénomme Christine. Is there a report/ratio of cause for purpose between the two? It should be known that this small girl was of origin Vietnamese, the parents having flees by boat-people the country from where they were originating. They chose a French first name for their child like that is often done among Vietnamese installed in France. Very catholic, the family consciously chose prénommer the child in report/ratio with the martyr that these people had suffered. We thus have there first elements of comprehension.
With regard to cancer, the child was of weak stoutness prone indirectly to the deprivations endured by the parents of food, water and the bad conditions of hygiene. The only direct bond is thus the history of the family.
Then we have family French which deals with this child, who is moved, sticks and regards it as his/her own child. With the birth of their daughter, there is projection of what they had already lived, especially at the emotional level. One thus transposes the first name on the new-born baby. Christine is born.
When I ask you to think of the French flag, it there does not have no difficulty so that you visualize this one with these three colors. For a first name of child, the step is the same one, all the more if you lived a significant emotional relation. The fact "of applying" the same first name, references with the image forged in the spirit of the parents by the first Christine. "the new" child allows the continuity of the preceding one, to continue what was undertaken and start. In this case, to look after (oneself-to deny finally) and to cure (merry-laughter) the child. Christine becomes the "shortly" after Christine. The first name was not selected because it liked but because it is a small well defined girl who carried it. What Christine during her childhood and her adolescence lived is the logical continuation of lived of that of which it is the substitute.
Today she has just continued the cycle of the life and its first step was to find for his/her daughter lately born a first name that nobody carries, sure being not to repeat without its knowledge what had arrived to him in the past, having heard and become aware of the origin of its last traumatisms. In becoming is aware sufficient "to cure"?
Is it this fruit of the chance, but this child, was born premature and develops day after day of new diseases: otitis, angina, bronchitis, of the diseases known to have sources psychosomatic... With the least infection, this child finds herself under antibiotic, with the least sneeze, the mother panics and considers the scenarios more the catastrophes. The hypocondria of the mother was projected on the girl. This is the child who is really sick or the mother who makes sick his child. Here are three generations where a traumatism is transmitted and while further going up, of two generations one meets in this family of other dead children and other similar neuroses.
Don't want to repeat, not "to behave same manner that our parents did it for us, is reduced to reproduce with identical the traumatism but in a new form while being reassured which one did not reproduce the" errors "of the past. It is not a question to make the reverse, but to become aware of what one lived. To accept its traumatism, to learn how to live with him.
Christine is today "cures", it does not suffer more hypocondria, but its traumatism, its neurosis was projected on his/her child. Is it really cures? Finally not! It will be interesting to follow the evolution of the child then to look at the first name of its first new-born baby... Can a girl be?
The traumatism can go up until several generations, here four, the back grandmother (about which we did not speak), the grandmother (the mother of Christine), the mother and her daughter. A relation mother-girl, traumatisante which is conveyed by all the symbolic system carried by the choice of the first name, not by the first name itself.